


Hajime, Kaede, and Ouma Eat a Lemon

by orphan_account



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types
Genre: Based off real events, Gen, nonbinary kaede akamatsu, stupid, they eat a lemon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-10
Updated: 2018-04-10
Packaged: 2019-04-21 01:27:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,256
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14273961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: They eat lemons.





	Hajime, Kaede, and Ouma Eat a Lemon

**Author's Note:**

> dedicated to melody for eating lemons with me in call when no one esle did <3 also goku is in here because bakura asked me to add him in and i didnt know how else to end it. besides the goku part its not really a crack fic its just stupid

Hajime Hinata, from the 77th class. Kaede Akamatsu, Kokichi Ouma from the 79th class.

 

Sitting in a circle on the floor of Ouma’s room.

 

And in the middle of the circle… Well, in the middle.

 

Three perfectly round, bright yellow lemons. Kaede looks nervous, they lean back on an arm. Their head is cocked to the side, and they’re sweating quite a bit. To the left of them, Ouma sits, eyes hungry and excited. Hajime looks just tired.

 

 _How did I even…_ Hajime thinks, eyes narrowing. _This must be Nanami’s fault, somehow._ Right, of course, the studious Nanami’s fault. Nanami, Hajime Hinata’s best friend, and also… president of the student council. And of course, of _course--_

 

_“Hinata-kun, I think you need more friends. I’ll introduce you to one of my student council buddies! They’re an underclassman, but they’re very nice.”_

And so, Kaede Akamatsu began to regularly accompany Chiaki and Hajime on their stupid antics. Hajime didn’t mind at all, not in the _slightest,_ Kaede was a nice person after all, and he actually began to befriend them, until…

 

It was a night at Chiaki’s place, the trio playing games together, and Kaede turned to the side, their pink eyes (they must be contacts, Hinata thought, but he could never ask) warm as always. They put the controller down, so it must be important.

 

“Do you think next time I could invite my other classmate as well?”

 

Chiaki agrees quickly, and Hinata doesn’t get the chance to get another word in. He just sighs, and props himself up with an elbow.

 

And then…

 

And then. Kokichi Ouma, the Super High School Level _Supreme Leader,_ was introduced into his life.

 

And… And God, he was a handful.

 

While he was… annoying, sure, Hajime supposes he could be a little thankful. He brings a lot of excitement into the group, with how… eccentric(?) he is.

 

But God, Hajime would _never_ , _ever_ predicted he would be in this situation. Never in his life, not until… not until the _unstoppable force_ known as Kokichi Ouma came into his life.

 

It was a simple message to the group chat he, Kaede, Chiaki and Ouma had created. He thought it was a joke, and he was sure Kaede and Chiaki thought it was a joke as well.

 

 **OUMA-KUNZ:** hay guyz we shuld eat lemons together ;)

 **Melody ~ (Kaede!):** Hahaha :)

 

At the time, Hajime had simply read the message and put his phone down without replying, but even 2, 5, 10 minutes later he couldn’t get the _terrifying_ message out of his head.

 

 **Hajime Hinata** : i hope youre joking,

 **OUMA-KUNZ:** well who knowz ;) come over at 2 tomorrow if u see this haha if u dont come ill drag you over by your hair

 **Melody ~ (Kaede!)** : I look forward to spending time with you all! :)

_Kaede has no idea what’s in for them,_ Hajime thinks. And despite thinking that, _despite_ having the whole night to think about it, he… He…

 

Right now, he’s sitting on the floor of Ouma’s room. On the floor, in a circle with Kaede and Ouma. Chiaki never really checks the groupchat-- but god damn, she got lucky this time.

 

“Now- now Ouma, I didn’t… I didn’t _realize_ that we were actually going to-” Kaede begins, nervously fiddling with a lock of blond hair.

 

“Nope!” The boy laughs, spreading his arms in an extravagant manner. “We’re doing this! Take one, Akamatsu-chan-- Hinata-chan.”

 

Ouma gleefully snatches up a lemon, rolls the other two to the other unenthusiastic students.

 

Kaede’s eyes only fill with more worry, and a nervous laugh escapes them, as they take the yellow fruit into their lithe hands. “Uhm.. haha,”

 

Hajime grabs a lemon as well. He isn’t nearly as disgusted or terrified as Kaede is, he thinks-- after all, he’s always willing to try new things. He tosses the lemon into the air, catches it before setting it down again. He has a feeling he probably won’t like this, but he won’t know until he tries, right?

 

Right.

 

Kaede laughs nervously again, and they look at the other 2 boys for some kind of reversal, and unfortunately, they give them none.

 

“W-Well,” Kaede swallows, laughs again, and _they just can’t stop laughing,_ Hinata thinks. “Well, if we’re gonna do this… we should do it together. How about we do a countdown?”

 

Hajime thinks, before he nods. “Yeah... I’ll use a countdown app so we won’t have to count when about to bite,” he says. He pulls out his phone, taps the screen a few times and puts it in the middle.

 

At the top of the screen in gaudy letters, _GOKU CLOCK._ He swipes a few screens, ‘till he finds a countdown. There’s a picture of Goku on the clock.

 

“You guys ready?” Hajime turns to Kaede and Ouma. Kaede nods hesitantly. Ouma nods vigorously, he’s practically vibrating on the spot. Hinata sighs, and taps to start the countdown.

 

_5…_

 

Hajime picks up the lemon again. Kaede looks positively horrified.

 

_4…_

 

Ouma, excited as ever, already has the fruit pressed against his lips.

 

_3…_

 

Hajime brings the fruit to his face. Kaede does as well, and they look like they would like to sink into the ground more and more with each passing second.

 

_2…_

 

Hajime opens his mouth, preparing to take a bite. Ouma’s sweating profusely, holding himself back. Kaede opens their mouth just the tiniest bit.

 

_1…_

 

**CRUNCH.**

Hajime can barely process the taste of the lemon, before the sound of Kaede’s horrified wailing assaults his ears.

 

“EAAAUUGHHH! Noooo- _plebth,_ ” Kaede spits it out with tears in their eyes, wiping up the mess with a tissue. They are shaking.

 

On the other hand, it looks like Ouma has already devoured half his lemon. He doesn’t even say anything, a mess of lemon juice and seeds down his front accompanied by the incessant _crunchrunchrunchrunch…_

On the other hand, Hajime… Hajime? He tilts his head to the side, thoughtfully, and smacks his lips. He sees Kaede physically shudder. He takes another small bite, brows furrowed. Kaede whispers out a soft _“nooo….”_

He stays silent for a while, before shrugging. “Well, it’s alright,” he says, biting again. Ouma has already finished his lemon, and he is lying back, satisfied and satiated.

 

“It’s better if you take small bites, Kaede,” Hajime advises, taking another small nibble at the skin.

 

Kaede perks up, grabs the lemon again. “Really?!” they ask, leaning forward to take another small bite. “...Nooo! Bleeergh-” They don’t spit it out, but they try to swallow it. It barely makes it down.

 

Hajime leans back on an arm, and laughs. “I like the flesh better anyway, but I don’t know if i can finish this… You want it?” he turns to Ouma, tosses the lemon at him, and Ouma starts devouring again, quick as ever.

 

Hajime licks his lips, they’re burning now, but whatever. Kaede looks like they’re about to sob. He reaches forward and gives them a sympathetic pat on the head. “Not for everyone,” he says, stretching.

 

Kaede just whimpers. “It’s horrible… I don’t understand how he can do it,” they mutter, wiping their mouth with a tissue.

 

“Well, it’s not that bad. I’d use a spoon next time-” “Disgusting!” Kaede interrupts Hajime. He pauses, but they laugh together.

 

“Next time, we better make Chiaki come too…” Hajime pockets his phone which had just been left on the floor.

 

“You’re right,” Kaede says. Ouma is still scarfing down leftover lemon, but he gives a thumbs up.

 

Goku looks through the window. It’s all over now.

 

 


End file.
